“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”
He had been lucky his whole life: his entire family lived within several miles of him (multiple sets of grandparents and countless cousins, in addition to his parents and sisters – all less than 20 minutes away); he never had to work too hard for anything; his relationships (while short and failed) came easily; he had job after job always lined up; and everything was handed to him. (Sound familiar? It’s the cishet white man’s American Dream). He certainly never could have known that one day, he would completely destroy someone’s life; that he would set off such a chain reaction, he would be considered a “bad luck boy”. But then again, he probably wouldn’t have cared either.
In early 2023, he had just returned from a little sabbatical in Florida, where we suppose he was trying to “find himself”. Allegedly, he had moved there for a (now) ex-girlfriend, who cheated on him, but we’ll never know for sure. Why? Because this boy had a tendency to lie – but there was no way we could have known this in the beginning. He was charming, romantic, thoughtful – all the things that had been missing for so long; all characteristics that are far too rare these days. Another important detail to note? He was an improv comedian. So he was very, very skilled at making things up as he went along.
He met her on a Monday. It was the day after a big marathon for her, once during which she hadn’t felt well, but she still pushed through to the end. Because that’s what she used to do. Before she met him and he ruined her life. Back when she still had goals, dreams, hope, and knew how to stand on her own two feet. They went on their first date at one of the only restaurants open on a Monday night in their neck of the woods. He taught her some improv games and she laughed. He was so different from the guys she was used to: so confident, charismatic, and honestly hilarious. Conversations with him were effortless and comfortable. She thought he was the missing piece of the puzzle, finally.
They fell in love quickly – it didn’t take long at all for the woman to fall head over heels for him. She told him less than two months after their first date, in a cemetery (one of their favorite spots to pretend to “hunt” for ghosts), that she was falling for him. He felt the same (or so he said). The woman had never been happier. She was tired of watching all of her friends find love and happiness, while she was left behind, wondering when her turn would come. Their relationship was easy: they meshed well and rarely fought. They danced in the kitchen to silly songs, went on cabin trips, and talked about their future. The woman did a lot for him, but she didn’t mind at all, because she had been waiting her entire life to have someone to take care of – and she really thought he was “The One”.
Then one day, less than two months before their planned elopement date, the boy finally had the “decency” to admit what he had been feeling for almost a month, what he had been talking to his “BetterHelp” therapist about, but kept from his girlfriend, that it was “too soon” to get married. Which was actually code for: he wanted to continue his improv party boy life as long as he could, ideally until age 50. (So only a few years left to go…) The boy also didn’t think he could handle her at her worst anymore: the health issues had become too cumbersome, the depression too exhausting, and quite frankly, he was just tired of “putting on a mask”. He preferred to be alone, a highly ironic statement considering the boy did improv at least six days out of the week – and performed every weekend. But he just didn’t think he was cut out for a relationship. Which makes sense considering the boy was so deeply, deeply troubled.
He watched as she broke down, utterly and completely. For two hours, she sobbed and they fought about how to move forward, on the smallest couch known to humankind (not there by the woman’s choice – a relic from her maternal grandmother). There was perhaps a small part of the boy that felt badly, but he also felt so, so free: he no longer had to get married (what luck!) and he was off the hook. Little did he know, he had just devastated this woman; decimated her heart; and set off a chain reaction for the foreseeable future, for which she would never, ever forgive him.
The boy really had the best 2024 ever: he played softball, ultimate frisbee, and golf. He traveled to California and Las Vegas. He slept soundly and deeply, with nary a care in the world. His weeks filled up with even more improv than before and he enrolled in another improv class in Philadelphia, in addition to the ones he was already taking and teaching back home. Sometimes when he drove through the city, he would think of the times he went there with the woman, but only for a moment. He didn’t have much remorse and was almost certainly a sociopath – but how could he have known that about himself? And even if he did, he wouldn’t have cared. About a month and a half after the formal break-up, he and the woman began seeing each other again. It was an absolute slam dunk for the man. She still occasionally cooked for him, even, and he knew he could always count on her. He really did have the best luck after all.
But then, in September, the woman finally started coming to her senses: she hated it in Pennsylvania, so why would she continue to stay and wait for someone who was never going to change his mind about her? Of course, she still couldn’t understand it; couldn’t wrap her head around how cruel and callous he had been. But she did know there was no point in staying.
The boy still felt no remorse when he learned the woman had been in the hospital two months later. He felt nothing at all when she told him he had ruined love for her forever; that he really had destroyed any shred of hope she had for the future. The boy couldn’t have known the other details she never shared; couldn’t have fathomed how horrible it was for her to be trying to date again, after everything she had already gone through before they had met – and before he had shattered her heart into smithereens. And he didn’t know that she felt like a shell of the person she once was. He just continued reveling in his best improv life and strutted around town thinking how he really was the luckiest man alive.
But what he couldn’t have known is: even lucky people get their turn eventually. It’s just a matter of time.